This is a first

B made me cry this morning. I was laying in bed before 7am and I heard this rustling noise. Kinda like paper, but also sounded like a plastic bag. I knew that Maylie was too lazy to get into anything, even if there was food inside. So, I went out to investigate. What I found, broke my heart. B had unwrapped 7 of the remaining 14 prizes that were in the prize box. A little history for you. I created a prize box to contain fun surprises that the boys could earn by turning in 20 tokens, or tickets, that they received for good behavior. Both B and E have earned their first prizes. Anyway, when I came out to the living room this morning, I found 7 prizes surrounded by tiny bits of wrapping paper. I was actually very surprised at my reaction. I would normally be very upset and get mad or something. But this time, I just started crying. I had worked so hard to create the prize box. I bought really fun toys that I know they would be SO excited about when they opened them. I wrapped each one so that they wouldn't know what they were getting when they peeked into the box. I wanted to create a reward system that they would be excited about and motivated to use. B ruined the surprise. I know that he was just being a curious kid that wanted to open some presents. Who doesn't like presents? The thing is, that box has been sitting on the counter for many weeks. He hasn't touched it. He has left it alone. So, when I found him with the opened presents, I just started to cry. My feelings were hurt because not only did the whole concept of the prize box get destroyed, B would never get to have those fun toys that I got for him and his brother. I will never get to see them open those presents and be so proud of themselves for working so hard to earn a fun toy.












There are the remaining surprises and of course the carnage left in the recycle bin. At least he had the decency to put the paper in the bin. I am still upset about this 2 hours later. B was surprised at my reaction. I am sure he was ready for me to get upset with him. But, I don't think he was expecting me to cry! He was so sweet, too. As soon as he realized I was crying he said, "I'm sorry, Mom." Then he came over to me and gave me a hug. Of course, my crying upset him, so he started crying. But, after I calmed down, I realized that he was crying because he wanted the trains that he opened. Initially he was crying because I was. That upset him. But, as soon as he realized that he wasn't going to keep any of the loot that he unwrapped, he lost it. I am having a very hard time teaching this kid that he has to earn certain things with good behavior. I know that he understands the concept and is very excited when he gets his tickets. He even tells me when he thinks he has done something to earn a ticket.  B simply thinks that when he wants a new toy, he should have one. So, this morning when I took the very exciting toys away, he responded with, "But I like them." How could I possibly take away something that he likes? He really feels like he is the one who has gotten the raw end of the deal here. In a way, he has. How do we teach this child the value of his possessions? I thought that creating a scenario where he had to earn these fantastic toys would give him some ownership and pride when he did get to pick a prize. I know he is only 4, and that these things will come. But, I really feel like he has this sense of entitlement. What can I do to change that? Perhaps we will start working on allowance and money. Maybe he could buy those toys from me? But, that wouldn't be fair to E.  E has just as much a right to earn those toys that B opened that B does. What do I do? I took the toys away because I didn't think that B should have them. I don't think that he should be able to earn those particular toys. I could let E pick from that lot, but then B will eventually be able to play with them. I think this is an excellent learning opportunity for B and I don't want to take away from that by eventually letting him have those toys by either earning them or paying me for them. Well, I am sure I will figure something out. For now, they are tucked away until I can figure out what to do. And, I am sure I will. I hope Prince Charming has some good ideas. Just to think, B could have earned a ticket for staying in bed until 7am and this whole mess could have been avoided. When will he figure THAT out??