I have stumbled upon a few blogs as of late that totally inspire me with their brutal honesty. There they are, writing for no one but themselves and have no trouble with just spilling their hearts and souls out onto the blogger template. Boy, I wish I could do that.
I used to write a lot. I have three journals practically filled to the brim with my thoughts, musings, dilemnas, frustrations, and celebrations. I don't write in those anymore. I don't really have time. Well, I don't make the time. I can type much faster than I can scribble down words on paper.
I desperately WANT to write more personally, here, for myself. I realize that this blog has an audience. Maybe I have stage fright! I have decided that along with posting my daily or weekly tidbits of my life, I will write when I want to write. You might enjoy learning a little more about what goes on under my surface. You might be surprised that I can drop an occasional f-bomb. Overall, I am writing for me and my eyes. I just hope I don't scare you away.
In light of my journaling history that I am trying to revive, here is an entry written during my freshman year in highschool taken from the Diary pictured above.
....................................................................................................................................................................
December 18, 1991
Hey,
Hey Hon! How'z it goin? Fine I guess. Finals are this week! Christmas dance was so fun! I wish it would happen all over again. I really don't know how he feels about me, he won't tell me. All he will say is "I don't know." I really like him and care about him alot. I don't want a relationship quite yet. I just want to see him for a while.
Vale! Kel
.....................................................................................................................................................................
I like how I ask myself how I am doing and then respond. I was very tempted to correct the spelling errors, but then it wouldn't be a true 13 year old entry. And, "Vale!"??? I was such a latin nerd. (high five, meems?) How many of you are wondering who "he" is?
In the spirit of being honest, why don't I share a few things that have been bouncing around my head lately:
I got my period the other day. I can't figure out if I am genuinely bummed or terribly relieved.
I love staying at home with the boys. I am so thrilled and lucky that I don't have to go to a work place every day. I am most certain that if I did have to work, I wouldn't be as happy as I am right now. I feel very blessed that I have a wonderful husband who provides for us and allows me to be the only place I really want to be. Home.
I think I might be addicted to delicious desserts.
I am wondering if I am ever going to get a more spacious car. (Selfish. Yes, I know.)
I wish I enjoyed my husband's beer creations more. He is trying SO hard to find a recipe that I will drink. The thing is, his beer tastes GREAT! But, if I am going to consume 300 or 400 calories, I would much rather have it be in a bowl and taste like ice cream! Therein lies one of our differences.
I love my parents. They are such cool people. I would live next door to them in a heartbeat! If only that house was for sale.
Okay, that is enough for today. I enjoyed just writing whatever came to my mind.
**Rach, I double dog dare you to post a journal entry circa summer 1996**
3 comments:
I have enjoyed catching up on so many posts!
I am a true believer of honesty, brutal honesty where appropriate. I like to really hear what is going on in people's heads. It gives the rest of us the opportunity to understand other people, and to learn to be less judgmental and superficial. So be brave and go for it!
No way in hell on the journal page. My parents read my blog. My three year old hung out with my and my BFF from high school Amanada. She was in town for a visit. We went shopping, walked 5 miles and went out to lunch. I lived in PHX for 21 years and never saw a scorpian.
You know I love the Latin geekery. ;)
Post a Comment