A big change is on the horizon

Here we are, on the eve of adding another human being to this world (and our family) and I am feeling like there could be more of a buzz of excitement going on in this house.

I woke up this morning listening to happy children giggle as well as a happy husband who had jumped out of bed to care for those children while I continued to snooze. I listened to him take breakfast orders and kindly agree to run out to get some lox and bagels. As I laid there I thought about how this is our last day as a family of four and I looked forward to laying around the house playing games, working the crossword, playing the Wii, and whatever else we decided to do. I thought about how nice it was that I had the boys all organized for their stay at Amee and Papa's house and most of the preparations for tomorrow were complete. All I had to do all day was enjoy my boys and think about how exciting it will be to finally meet this little girl I have been carrying along with me for almost a year.

Mid morning the vibe in the house took a turn for the worse when Prince Charming and I started to talk about B's issues with school (always hard to talk about) and E decided that he needed to start hitting everyone. Then I tried to lighten my mood up with a little Beatles RockBand. Of course that just initiated new disagreements between the two young boys. So now my lovely day filled with all kinds of fun had morphed into a tiny hell where both of my children were yelling at me and my spouse looked like he was ready to hop in his car and drive away to check himself into the looney bin.

So instead of brimming with excitement over the impending birth of our daughter, I started to feel like having a baby tomorrow isn't the best thing I could be doing for this family right now. I am leaving for a few days while my oldest son is struggling with all kinds of pressure to perform in Kindergarten and #2 is this angry little boy who just wants to be close to me and get his arm tickles. I feel like I am leaving them at a time of great need only to return with an infant who will demand a lot more from me than these two boys are willing to part with. To say I am nervous about this adjustment is an understatement. Fortunately B is very excited to have a baby in this house and Prince Charming will be home for about two and a half weeks to help with the transition. Not to mention all of the family that will be more than happy to help.

I needed an attitude adjustment. When E and Prince Charming went down for their naps and B read quietly to himself, I had the opportunity to recharge. A full belly and a hot shower tend to help a bit. I really can't wait to meet this little person we have created. I am excited to have a girl in this house and glad that the boys will have a chance to grow up with a sister.

I have faith that everything will run smoothly as planned tomorrow and the transition from a four person family to a five person family will be seamless. I love my little family and I really wouldn't change a thing about us. We all have our moments and life certainly can hand out curve balls from time to time. But I have to remember I have a lot more good in my life than bad and little family melt downs are miniscule compared to all of the fun and joy we have together.

I am very much looking forward to introducing our daughter to the world tomorrow. But for now, I am going to enjoy these last kicks and turns in my belly.