She's Weaned

And I’m sad.

I don’t think I would have chosen to wean her at this age (14 months) but I didn’t think I had much of a choice.  I was only nursing her at night, and I relished that time alone with her.  I loved the quiet, the feeling of her skin against mine.  I loved the way she would touch my face with her hand as if she was exploring every nook and cranny trying to learn more about me.  I loved how she would play with her toes and then put her foot on my face.  I loved how when she was done she would burp contentedly and have some milk drool in the corner of her mouth.  I miss it all.  Even more so since I know she is my last baby.

We decided to take the boys camping during Spring Break.  We wanted to explore Kartchner Caverns and decided 2 nights would be sufficient.  Even though it would have been nice to take The Peach with us, her 2 naps per day and early bedtime would really put a damper on our fun.  So, she got to stay with my parents while we were away.  I decided not to pump while I was there because I didn’t think I had much milk anyway.  It turns out I never got engorged!

I was pretty sure that being away from her for two nights would have dried me up.  So, when we returned I didn’t nurse her.  I was worried that she would be upset.  She even pointed to the chair I sit in when I went to put her to bed.  I replaced our nursing session with a story, which she clearly wasn’t interested in, and then tucked her in and left.  She didn’t make a peep.  I was sad that she didn’t seem too upset, but at the same time I was relieved.  It would have been much harder for me if she had cried.  I probably would have gone in and tried to nurse her.  I did learn in my class that I probably still had milk for her and could have picked up nursing again.  Unfortunately, I learned that a week after I weaned her.  Oh well.

Now that she is weaned I miss that quiet time before her bedtime, but at the same time, I don’t have to wait until she is in bed before I can go out on a date with my husband!  There is a bright side even though it has taken me a little while to see it.