I am really getting tired of hearing "No!" when I (kindly) ask my children to do something. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, my blood starts to boil. I understand that they don't want to stop doing something fun (playing with Legos) and start doing something boring (take a shower). I get that. But they really don't have a choice when I ask. Just do it.
The other night I decided that I have heard enough. I grabbed two sheets of paper and assigned one to each boy. Then I drew a line up the middle. On either side of the line I wrote, "Yes, Mom!" and "No, Mom!" Each time they gave me a "No!" when asked to help out or do something, a hash mark goes in the appropriate column. On the flip side, each time they are agreeable and do what I ask, they get a hash mark in the "Yes, Mom!" column. I mentioned that the only time this will ever matter is when they are invited to do something special. Things like play dates, playing at the neighbor's house, going to a movie with Grandma, etc. If there are more hash marks in the "No, Mom!" column, then they don't get to go. As long as they keep the "Yes, Mom!" side above the "No, Mom!" side, then they are good to go.
So far, I have noticed and appreciated one thing. They are FAR more agreeable then I thought they were. Most of the time, they do as they are asked. I have also noticed that they make a point to make sure I heard them say, "Yes, Mom!" So far, I would say this experiment is successful. The boys seem to be paying close attention to how they choose their words. And that is what I was hoping would happen.
The other night I decided that I have heard enough. I grabbed two sheets of paper and assigned one to each boy. Then I drew a line up the middle. On either side of the line I wrote, "Yes, Mom!" and "No, Mom!" Each time they gave me a "No!" when asked to help out or do something, a hash mark goes in the appropriate column. On the flip side, each time they are agreeable and do what I ask, they get a hash mark in the "Yes, Mom!" column. I mentioned that the only time this will ever matter is when they are invited to do something special. Things like play dates, playing at the neighbor's house, going to a movie with Grandma, etc. If there are more hash marks in the "No, Mom!" column, then they don't get to go. As long as they keep the "Yes, Mom!" side above the "No, Mom!" side, then they are good to go.
So far, I have noticed and appreciated one thing. They are FAR more agreeable then I thought they were. Most of the time, they do as they are asked. I have also noticed that they make a point to make sure I heard them say, "Yes, Mom!" So far, I would say this experiment is successful. The boys seem to be paying close attention to how they choose their words. And that is what I was hoping would happen.
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